


Requitement

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Jedi Poe — Star Wars Rewrites Edition [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jedi Poe Dameron, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 05:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13427400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: A mission turns into much more.





	Requitement

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Fake Relationship 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

  
It was just another mission. That was what Ben kept telling himself. And yet there was something in him that couldn’t help but be nervous as all the Corellian hells. He and Poe had been sent together, as they just about always were, and they were the team. Ben Solo and Poe Dameron. Unstoppable.

And yet there was something about this mission that was enough to make Ben nervous.

“Look,” Poe said to him even as they headed out towards their separate X-wings. “What’s the worst that could happen? Even if things do go wrong — ’’

Ben sighed. “I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“We’ve got each other.” Poe patted him lightly on the back, but it really was that touch that was enough to make Ben’s heart flutter despite himself.

He shouldn’t be feeling like this. And yet here he was. Ever since he was eighteen, it had been like this. Here was Poe — wonderful, amazing, charming, funny, and the most beautiful man that Ben had ever seen. Here Poe was, just getting more and more beautiful and accomplished, and here was Ben, getting more awkward and loving him more.

Hopefully he could keep it together for the sake of the mission.

Hopefully.

***

Things went smoothly enough until the receptionist for the hotel that they were staying at while they were searching for the strange armored man asked them who they were.

They couldn’t blow their cover as Jedi. So Ben all but blurted it out. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Poe managed to save face just about immediately, by taking Ben’s hand. There was something about that touch, Ben thought, that made his heart flutter again.

The receptionist smiled. “So you’re on vacation together?”

“Oh yes.” _On vacation to catch a killer, that is._

“That’s wonderful. I hope you enjoy your time there.”

“We will,” Ben said.

It was once they got out of earshot that Poe turned to look at Ben and said, “Nice save.”

“I had to think of something.”

“I think they bought it.” Poe said. “Good job, Ben.”

And there was something in Ben that couldn’t help but feel warmed by the whole thing.

It was while they were getting ready for the night that Ben got to think about it more.

The truth of it was, Ben couldn’t help but think, what would it be like being in a relationship with Poe Dameron? There was something about it that was too wonderful to imagine. Poe had always captivated him, but it was when he was eighteen that he realized that he was in love with him. Eighteen. Eighteen years old, and he realized that he was hopelessly in love with Poe. That was the thing. The Jedi Order were so split down the middle about all this, split down the middle about the matter of love and relationships. And would Poe even look his way? That was the other thing. Poe seemed to get more beautiful and accomplished, and Ben got more awkward and more passionate and more in love.

Awkward. That was the thing. When you were eighteen, there was no magic formula that made you suddenly sophisticated and knowing everything. Ben was still stumbling around, as ever.

And Poe...Poe was putting stuff away, but Ben couldn’t help but watch him. Couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on him all the while.

Poe turned to look at Ben and smiled. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.” Ben averted his eyes. “I was just thinking...”

“What are you thinking about?”

“I was thinking,” Ben said, “That I have no idea how people act when they’re in love.”

“It’s all right.” Poe swept his hair out of his eyes. “I’ve never been in a relationship either.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

It made sense. They were both Jedi, after all. They both were sheltered. Ben’s own knowledge of how relationships worked was watching his parents, who only seemed to constantly argue. Not exactly the best model of how a relationship worked. Ben’s only comfort during that time was the voice in his mind, his imaginary friend.

“Well, I know there’s kissing. We could...”

“What?”

“Practice.”

“Practice kissing.” Ben said. “Good idea."

Poe was so very close now. Ben could count his eyelashes, could memorize every plane of his face. It was all for the mission, Ben reminded himself; there was not a chance that Poe could actually look his way.

And that almost got forgotten as Poe leaned in.

Ben hadn’t pictured his first kiss, of sorts, to be practice. His fantasies, in a world that he had control over, had the kiss usually happening after he had made his declaration of love. And it wouldn’t be an awkward thing, but something poetic and beautiful and smooth and charming — all of these things Ben was not in the real galaxy, but he couldn’t be faulted for fantasizing. He couldn’t be any of that in reality. But he could pretend.

Kissing Poe was awkward without a doubt. It was a matter of trying to make sure his nose (his big, stupid nose) didn’t get in the way. He leaned in, trying not to bump noses, but ended up doing so anyway. They burst out laughing in that moment, and Poe’s thoughts...they were scrambled, but Ben could make out that he was charmed enough. Thank the Force.

Poe at least thought he was cute. That was at least something.

When their lips finally met, Ben couldn’t help but notice that they were soft. Full. He closed his eyes, and he felt, for a moment, like the galaxy had melted away and there was nothing there but them.

They broke away after a while. Poe was holding him, and Ben was gasping for breath, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that they’d just kissed.

“You okay, Ben?” Poe said.

“Yeah.” Ben didn’t say that he wished the kiss had gone on for longer.

***

To say that reporting in to Uncle Luke was awkward was quite the understatement. Just telling him about the matter of checking in. Even telling him about Ben’s alibi caused Uncle Luke to raise an eyebrow, but he nodded.

“If it’s for the mission, I don’t see a problem with it,” he said. “Really.”

“Thank you.” Ben said. “That’s good to know.”

Except he didn’t know if he could necessarily keep it up forever.

  
***

Time passed. It was a matter of learning how to act like a couple, things like holding hands — and all the while, it felt like Ben’s fantasies come to life. Just holding Poe’s hand. Kissing his cheek. Small things, but they meant the galaxy to Ben. Small things, but they meant so much.

Ben just wondered what it was like to do them for real. To hold Poe’s hand for real, to hold Poe close for real. Poe was some sort of angel with curly dark hair, the sort whose face could light up like the twin suns when he   
laughed, when he smiled.

And he could never explain it. Not really. Even in between the practice kissing and the practice hand-holding, and the hugs that took on a new, not just friendly connotation.

He doubted he could vocalize it out loud. He wished he could, really. Unfortunately, it seemed

  
***  
That all changed in finally confronting the armored man when Poe was injured.

It was just a split second, but it changed everything.

It was in that moment that Ben swore that the rage built up behind his eyes, and he ran towards the man, lightsaber ignited. He wasn’t thinking, except for the very idea that Poe was down, Poe was down and Ben couldn’t protect him. He ran, and his lightsaber collided with the man’s own, and they fought, back and forth and back and forth, driven on by nothing but their rage, and their hate. Ben wasn’t the best fighter; his fighting style could best be described as flawed, but here, it was like he could go forever —

“Ben!”

Poe’s voice. Ben froze the man in place before turning to look at Poe, who stumbled to his feet, walked towards Ben. And it was there that Ben realized what he’d nearly done.

“Poe.” he said. “I am so sorry...”

“It’s all right, Ben. Everything’s all right.”

Poe hugged him, and it was there that Ben felt the remnants of his anger cool. It was something that was too easy to do, he thought, with Poe around, just as it was too easy to get angry at those who hurt Poe.

Because he loved him.

Yes. He loved him.

***

They arrested the man, who turned out to be working for someone named Snoke, whoever he was, actually. Ben had a feeling there was more to come, and they’d be led to Snoke eventually. The more pressing issue was, in the end, how to deal with the matter of how they felt.

Luke shot them a distrustful sort of look even as they got onto the shuttle. Ben didn’t know what his uncle was more distrustful of, per se — the matter of Ben’s near brush with the Dark Side, or the fact that his dynamic with Poe had changed. They’d have to keep it a secret from Luke either way.

They sat in the back of the shuttle, just across from the prisoner’s room, and Ben spoke. “About...about everything...”

“How do you feel now?”

“I can’t lose you, Poe. I know that.” Ben reached over, placed a hand over Poe’s. “Even the idea of it scares me.”

“It scares me too. But we won’t lose each other. Not for a long time.”

“We were so close — ’’

“But I’m okay.” Poe gave him one of those smiles that Ben loved, one of those smiles that only made Poe more beautiful, in Ben’s opinion. “And you’re okay.”

“We are. Poe...do you love me?”

“I do. Do you love me?”

“With all my heart.”

“So,” Poe said, “How about a do-over?”

“Yeah.” Ben said. “Definitely a do-over.”

They leaned in and kissed, and for the moment, Ben could honestly say _To the Corellian hells with the Code_ and mean it.


End file.
